Loving what is

My friend Peter calls it surrender. Petrea King talks about finding your peace. And for Byron Katie it’s all about loving what is. And none of its about being defeated. Far from it. They are all speaking of acceptance. Because when we’re in a place of acceptance, when we give up the fight, things become clearer don’t they. And we can move forward. Otherwise we’re just reacting and responding from a place of fear which keeps us locked in a battle. And in a battle there’s no room for growth, is there. All of our resources are directed toward protection, leaving little room for healing. That’s what happens when the world goes to war, doesn’t it. And it’s not so different for us when we’re at war on the inside.

I was explaining this to my daughter this week. She’s tired all the time at the moment. And she’s not been happy at school. A lot of adjusting is taking place. It’s hard to watch her missing her close friends. But if I just swooped in and fixed it, she wouldn’t have the chance to learn what she can do to help herself. Because there’s a battle going on inside her. And her battle is about the way she believes things ‘should’ be. Compared to how things actually are. That’s what all battles are about really. Unfulfilled expectations. And battles are just so damn tiring, aren’t they.

And while at first I stumbled for the words as I tried to help her see a different way, I finally knew how to explain it to her. Because in explaining it to her, I realised I was actually explaining it to myself. Isn’t it funny how other people’s situations often reflect our own. Because if I held on to the thought that I have to have two boobs to be a beautiful woman, then I’m going to disappoint myself for the rest of my life. Because I can never live up to this. I will never again have two breasts. And I’m going to feel miserable for the rest of my life if I continue to think this way because my reality is now quite different.

But it’s only my thoughts that are causing the battle. Having one breast is not the issue. It’s only my thoughts about the situation that can possibly cause me to feel unhappy. And the beautiful thing is thoughts are just thoughts. They can be changed. And as I continue to challenge the ones that don’t serve me, the ones that no longer reflect my truth, I find my peace… and learn to love what is…

 You see scars in the mirror, but a mirror can only reflect your thoughts. Only one thing can ruin your life, or even your body, and it’s not cancer.

Byron Katie – Who Would You Be Without Your Story?

Tags: , , , , , ,

Comments are closed.