Nipping it in the bud

The experience of cancer can really change the way you do life, can’t it. Once upon a time I would have agonised for ages over how to deal with an uncomfortable situation. Well, I had two this week raise their ugly heads. Two relationships that are proving difficult and painful. And while I ushered up a prayer for peace, things seemed to come to a head. And I knew this was my opportunity to heal these relationships. Not making the other person wrong. After all, there are two sides to every story. Not necessarily to reconnect either. But a chance to heal myself from being triggered by these ones I love and find my peace. It’s a strange thing isn’t it, that when we get triggered it’s the mind’s way of showing us we still have something left to heal. And when I can pull back and see this, rather than go into the emotion, it is always so much easier to deal with.

And so I had a choice to make. Deal with things, there and then or put it off and let myself stew. Knowing what I know about the body chemistry of stress, the choice was easy. Though not necessarily comfortable. Deal with things there and then was the only loving thing to do. Choosing the path that was kinder on me. Because I didn’t want the worry and those chemicals of stress running around in me any longer than a bare minimum. Most people don’t realise that ongoing stress actually turns your immune system off. That’s something to be considered, isn’t it.

And while I had to take a deep breath as I spoke my truth, I did it as kindly and gently as I could. Not only for my sake but for those I love. After all, we are not always going to see eye to eye. We all have different experiences and therefore different perspectives, don’t we. And we may never fully reconnect. But what I do know, is that dealing with things there and then has saved my mind and body bucket-loads of stress this week. And that’s no small thing. Because post cancer, I realise more than ever that a sense of peace is paramount…

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