Tripaw

Life can change in an instant. A bit of news, a diagnosis, an accident.

It all happened when he got away from me three weeks ago. And if it had been five minutes earlier or later all would have been avoided. But he saw our neighbour’s car and being the border collie that he is, he chased it. Only this time the car won. When I saw his leg I knew what the most likely outcome would be. And it was. The vet’s words rang in my ears. Amputate.

And I know it might seem a little crazy but it triggered my own trauma. Sending me spiralling back to my own bit of news. The afternoon I was told I would need to amputate my breast. The bitter irony of both me and my beloved dog carrying an amputation. And everytime I look at him now on his three legs I am reminded. The last few weeks have been difficult. All the emotion rising up. Knowing the adjustments that would be required both for him and for me. Feeling the unfairness of it all. Again.

Uncomfortable emotions are not easy to ride out. But I knew that I had to. To give myself permission to feel the pain. To feel the grief. To feel the sadness for as long as I needed to. Wondering when it would all end. For a therapist who works to help people deal with the emotional side of life it’s a bit like taking my own medicine. After all, we’re all emotional beings. No exceptions. And I guess that’s why I find I relate to people so well. In so many ways, I’ve been there too.

This week the sadness has lifted. And he is back to his beautiful happy self. We have recovered together and I am sure I’ve healed some of my own wounds that I didn’t even realise were still there.

It’s like that. We don’t always know what’s bubbling below the surface, do we. But I believe life has a strange way of bringing it to our attention so that we can heal, so that we can move on…

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